


stan's journal

by broflovsket



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love, mentions of heiman, questionable suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 10:12:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15683325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broflovsket/pseuds/broflovsket
Summary: uwu hi therepretty much cartman likes kyle but doesn't want to admit it, but kyle is already dating stan, and kenny laughs a lot. i've always had a headcanon that stan writes about his days in a journal.possible triggers:suicidethanks for reading lololol





	stan's journal

**Author's Note:**

> possible triggers:  
> suicide  
> this is a one-shot btw  
> i tried my best wink wink  
> thanks for reading!

dear journal,

today has been kinda shitty. like, unusually shitty. kyle and cartman got in another fight on the way to kyle's house to play with his playstation 5, but it was a strange fight. cartman started by saying 'wow kyle, a fag, ginger, and a jew!' which was sort of the norm at this point since kyle came out as pansexual. but instead of arguing back with that firey voice of his, he simply said 'listen. i get it. you're gay for me. no need to out yourself like that, man.'

i found that really weird. did kyle know something that me and kenny didn't? kenny had started wheezing on the snowy ground, while i was just in shock. the smirk kyle had when he said it melted my heart. had he matured overnight or something? i'll never know. cartman was becoming red with anger (and i'm assuming a little embarrassment and love.)  
he starts yelling about reasons why he could never like a dirty jew like kyle broflovski, stumbling every three words. "i- why would i ever like a dirty jew like YOU? so ugly and weird... don't even talk to me! psycho!' 

kenny's laughter and smile had died down to an almost concerned look. he was just staring at the two boys. by now, we had stopped walking and were just standing in the snow arguing. i was tempted to say something but was afraid to get in the way of whatever kyle was thinking of saying. kyle starts glaring at cartman. not in a tempting way, but a sarcastic, almost evil way, then says 'if you're not gay, then why do you go around calling every single persona fag? unless you need an outlet for your pent-up homo?' of course, that makes kenny start cackling again. this is when i think things turn serious. 'admit it, cartman. you're just a fat fag who happens to like a dirty jew, don't you?'

this is one of the first times i've seen cartman cry genuine tears. they were for himself, but they were real. all i could muster up to say was 'dude...' i can tell kyle feels bad. his eyes always turn a darker shade of green when he feels like he hurt somebody. usually, this color wasn't for cartman. 'uh, cartman... i really didn't mean that, it was a-' i waited to hear what kyle had to say before i realized that cartman had slapped him. not punch, not kick, but a slap. he didn't use enough to push him over, but enough to make him stumble. he started screaming, 'MY LIFE ISN'T YOUR BUSINESS YOU FILTHY JEW.' cartman starts wobbling and running as fast as he could, which truthfully wasn't fast. 

i looked at kyle, and he looked back. we kinda just stood like that for a minute. kenny was looking at cartman, and then looking back at the people staring at cartman. he seemed to find this situation humorous, a nazi who likes a jew. 

i had to ask. 'do you think he actually likes you, kyle?' i say, a little hurt. kyle and i have been dating for a little under a year. so knowing that someone like cartman, who we hang out with constantly, likes my boyfriend, a bit sketchy. 'i guess so? he'll get over it.' he replies to me, almost unbothered as if he already knew. 'should someone check on fatass?' kenny suggests with a muffled tone. after all these years he still wears that orange parka. it's ripped and has various stains from God knows what, but it's wearable. 

'well i have to get home and clean, and stan has football practice in a few minutes. you can if you want, though. -' kyle shrugs. i hadn't realized how much time passed during this mess. '- we'll see ya, dude. tell him i said sorry, i guess.' wouldn't old kyle feel bad about hurting someone's feelings? maybe all our time with tweek and craig has affected him. 

so here we are. unrequited feelings, an unforgiving jew, and football practice. i honestly thought about cartman and kyle all day. what if cartman tried doing something to kyle? kyle assured me that wouldn't happen, and he probably doesn't want to look at him right now. the death glares the next day that cartman gave kyle say otherwise. 

the kids at school started finding out about cartman's feelings for kyle. in fairness, a lot of people were around when the fight broke out. 

cartman hasn't come to school in a while.

-stanley marsh.


End file.
